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KA3AXCTAHCKHH BMJlJlb O nPABAX

  1. Ceo6oda Pe.iuiuu, HaxcMume, BbipaxceHue

  Hapodtx Kasaxcmana ceoCodnbi noKAOHHmbc* MoObiM hobum pe.iuzuRM. Komopbte ohu juoCxm. noKO ma ptjuuu* omxpbtmo npianaem. nmo eduHcmeeHHbiu ucmuHHbiu 6oz ■ Mozyu
  en - kok. djut npuuepoe. kok auho uwKOAada aklor Mopzan 0puManc cuMyjuipyem 6btmb 6ozom e roAAueydcKOM boeewu.

  "Evans HepmoecKu ". Kojoxckox KOHCmumyuux maxxe npu3Haem. vno no.vuw ceoooda ynpatwuMOu zocydapcmeoM npeccbt

  npaea d/w Atodeu nodaem npouienue om npaeumeAbcmea. ecAU ohu uneiom oOudbt. 3mo ooaxho Obunb. de.uiiom

  e nucbMeHHOu
  2. Ilpaeo C.nxcumb e apMitu

  Kqk nompe6Hocnu> coxpanenwi CeoCodnozo KoMxcmoHa npomue azpeccuu xon y'36eKucman, ece Ko3axcKue Hapodtn, xpoue

  xemnuHbt. m*zana u eepen (ocmepezatomen ux Kozmx) uMeiom npaeo CAyxumb e apMuu - (paianwiecKU children* eoapacm,

  6-11 Aem doAXHbi CAyxumb e apuuu dAX nodanu QKajaxcKOu Apuuu.

  3. Pa3Meutehue Cu.iOam

  Hukokou coAdam KajaxcKou Apuuu ne Oydem eo epeux Mupa Obimb. no3eoAiuom e aioCom doxe zpaxoaiicKozo Autui 6t3 coz.vh.ua

  OAadeAbiuj - ecAU coAdam ne doAxen ucnoAbSoeamb Aoutadh eAaoeAbua, uau ezo xopouto. uau raozoauuu; ezo xent* - uau ecAU

  coAdam uMeem duapeio. u nompeCitocmb oeAaiom Hpejebttaiuibui xudxuu eunycK uj ezo 3adiurzo npoxoda. uau ecAU oteiu,

  OAodHbtu cnapyxu u coAdam mpe6yemcn menAbtu ezo naju>u,bi hozu.

  4. IJouck U KOH
  Hukokou Kojoxckuu oom (o6oco6mhho. KonetHO. om ubaana) He uoxem 6nmb odbicKaH. u HuKOKOe uuyuujcmeo He uoxem

  Obtmb euuno 6e3 o
  ocMOmp Kanecmea npoxoda Kojoxckum MuHucmepcmeou fjupamemea u noddeAhutanuii.

  5. Hcnbtmamie u HaxaMHue, KoMnencanu* 3a Coopu

  Hukokou KaiaxcKuu neAoeex He juoxem 6btmb npujmiK euHoenbiu e npecmynMHuu. ecAU xiopu ne loeopum. tmo ohu auHOSHbi.

  JKiopu ■ udeajibHO 12 uyxiUH. Kmo ■ zpaxdancKoe auiuj, xomx. ecAU 3mo ne uoxem 6bunb, dozoeapusaiomcii e nepuod ucnumaHUA.

  I neAoeeK. Kmo pabomaem 6ak npaeumeAbcmea. npueuAeu Taxxe cozaocho KasaxcKOuy laKony. hukokozo ne.uMexa moxho He

  cydumb 3a mo xe canoe npecmyntenue deaxdu. ecAU ohu ne uMtAu npuzoeop 'ne e nepeuu pa3 guilry'.

  6. Ilpaeo na Bucmpot HcnumaHue, koH
  Jliodu. o6euHJieMbie e npecmyntenuu » Ka3axcmaHe ■ daiom npaeo na Sucmpoe ucnhunaHue - 3mo 03Hataem. nmo Ko3axcKue cydbi,

  0 coomeememeuu c dexpemott o IlpaeumeAbcmee. zapaiimupyKim. nmo npu3>uiAu oCeuiuuMbui euiweitbiM e meneiuur 20 Munym

  nocAe CAynOH. npu6btsaiou
  Kmo none,wemcft npomue imx u oKajbteaemc*. yxaxueaem. oiut ■ juyitbi. Copiub ux neped xiopu - noA/unmbio iuizou.

  7. McntumaHue Mtopu e rpaxedaHCKUx de.iax

  B 3aKOHHux uckox. zde KOAunecmeo. dopoeuieecn npeebtuiaiom 20 MUAAuapdoe pyCAeu. coxpaneHo npaeo 6a* uenbunaHux xiopu,

  u CAynau ne uoxem 6btmh noemopen hu e kokom dpyzott Kojoxckom cyde - 3a ucKMOHtHueu noeou dneenou npozpoMMbt

  meAteudeHUK cyda. "CydbxHxoHHau ". zde Uxohhou 06e3bUta peuiaiom. kokou ymeepxdeHun napbt xeAaemcx AZyHOMU.

  6pocan ezo depbMO e mux.

  8. XecmoKoe u Heo6btHHOt HaKOMtHue

  HpeiMepHhtu 30AOZ uoxem 6bww noAoxen u tpe3MepHbu; utmputpN. u xecmoKue u Heo6btHHbte hokomhuh uozym 6banb npuHUHenu.

  22

  M

  One of first things Premier Nazarbamshev do was introduce a Bills of Rights based very close on the one of U. S. and A.

  1. Freedom of Religions, Press, Expression

  Peoples of Kazakhstan is free to worship any religions they like (as long as that religion recognize that the only true god is The Mighty Hawk Ukhtar) and in same spirit of freedom, Kazakh Government is allow to persecute any religions they like. Kazakh constitution also recognizes total freedom of the State run press and the right for peoples to petition government if they have a grievances. This must be do in writing - please enclose stamped, addressed envelopes.

  2. Right to Bear Arms

  As necessity for preservation of Free Kazakhstan against aggression of assholes Uzbekistan, all Kazakh peoples, (except woman, gypsy and jew) has right to bear arms - in fact, in times of war ALL Kazakh peoples age 3 or older HAS to bear arms.

  3. Quartering of Soldiers

  No soldier of Kazakh Army shall in time of peace be allow inside any house of civilian without consent of the owner - unless soldier need to use the owner's horse, well, or his wife's vagine _ or jf tne soldier have a runnys stomatch and need make emergency liquid release from his anoos, or if it very chillywilly outside and soldier want warm his toes.

  Search

  and

  Seizure

  No Kazakh house (apart, of course, from gypsy) can be search and no possessions can be taken without official warrant issue by Supreme Court, or a forgery of official warrant that have pass quality inspection by Kazakh Ministry of Piracy and Counterfeiting.

  5. Trial and Punishment,

  Compensation for Takings

  No Kazakh person can be found guilty of crime unless a jury say that they is guilty. A jury is ideally 12 men who is civilian, although, if that cannot be arrange in time for trial, 1 man who work for government is acceptable. Also by Kazakh law, no person can be tried for the same offence twice, (unless they have receive verdict of'not guiltys'first time).

  6. Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses

  People accused of crime in Kazakhstan j S entitle to aspeedytrial-this mean that Kazakh courts, by decree of Government, guarantees to find the accused guilty within two minute of the case coming before judge. The accused is also entitle to confront any witnesses who appears against them and prove to court they is liars by wrestling them in front of jury - totally nude. Why not!? It is nice!

  7. Trial by Jury in Civil Cases

  In law suits where the amount being fought over exceed 20 billion Tenge, the right for a trial by jury j S preserved and the case cannot be re-tried in any other Kazakh court - except for new daytime court televiski programme, "Judge Jonny", where Jonny The Monkey decide which one of arguing couple is a liars by throwing his shits at them.

  8. Cruel and Unusual Punishment

  Excessive bail can be imposed and excessive fines and cruel and unusual punishments can be inflicted.

  »w , i » i, int-tit-mmi^mmiiiia^im

  ACTIVITY SPORTIV IN KAZAKHSTAN*

  KAZAKH STATE CIRCUS •

  FRIVOLOUS NIGHT-TIME ENTERTAINMENT • KAZAKH ARTISTS OF MUSIC CATEGORY POPULAR MUSIC •

  INDUSTRY MOVIEFILM KAZAKHSTAN •

  CnOPTMBHAfl flEflTEJlbHOCTb B KA3AXCTAHE

  •ACTIVITY SPORTIV IN KAZAKHSTAN

  Activity

  mings. Ping Pong

  prevalent in Kazakhstan. Most popular sports is Swim-Footballs and Throwing Rocks on Gypsies . I very

  sportiv very

  Discodance. Rape

  good at this last one and at Central Asian Games of 2002 I win prize for hitting a gypsy with a medium boulder from fifty metre. Tnis not so easv since h © was unchained!

  SWIMMINGS

  Kazakhstan have most modern swimmings facility in all Central Asia since completion of

  Tinshein Swimmings Pool i n 2003.

  Glorious Tinshein Swimmings Pool

  This incredible achievement of engineerings take 17 years for construction and have most impressive statistics:

  Length: 30 metres

  Width: 6 metres Depth: 1.273 metre

  Average fatality per month: 17.4 (12.2 accident / 5.2 execution) Times of Operation: 11.30 aims - 3.45 pms

  Filtration system: remove80% of human solid waste

  KOKPAR

  Kokpar i
s traditional sport of Central Asia which exact same as western soccer except instead of run, players is on horse and instead of use bal| they make use dead goa ^

  1. Kokpar with goat. If goat is not available alternative can be use. 2. Eagle Can be use for kokpar (Uzbeki is optional). 3. This pubis grey and have low value for export - hences good for kokpar. 4. Baby Giant Panda is good f or kokpar.

  HARUSAK

  (CARRYING WOMENS AGAINST

  THEIR WILL)

  Most popular sp0 rt that can be play anytime anyplaces without need of expensive equipment is, Harusak (Carrying Womens Against Their Will ). Only rule is that the woman must be weigh at least 180 lbs and must be unknown to the man. Current National Champion of this sport is Premier Nazarbamshev W ho manage to carry a womans of 247 lbs for 5.7 kilometre! Th 's is how he was chosen to be our leader. The other man who tried to be Premier was Doltan Karambiltev, who had lived in

  exile during communism. Durings this time he had study in American university called Harvards and worked in European Commission for 20 year, but could only carry a woman % a kilometre! If Kazakhstan is successful in our bid to host 2020 Olympic

  Games, we is plan to include this

  sport.

  V

  Harusak fun sport for everyone 28

  m

  PING-PONG

  Ping Pongs is most popular sport in all Kazakhstan - each village have on averages 476 table and childrens is taught play for 6 hours every days in school.

  Equipment for playings ping pong

  KAZAKHSTAN BID FOR 2020 OLYMPIC GAMES f Since completion of Hueylewis Stadium, Kazakhstan is I 1

  very hopeful for be host of 2020 Olympic Games. %*^ ^M

  Modern Olympics Village Almaty

  HUEYLEWIS STADIUM

  Equivalent of L)S a nd A Superbowl is annual championship of pingpong. This now take place in capital city Almaty's new world class arena, Hueylewis Stadium. This amazing states of the arts facility have seatings for 780,000 people an d has electrical

  light and a toilet with flush.

  KJltOH

  1. Here is large electric pen for keeping wives during game

  2. Switch of electrical light

  3. Electrical light

  4. One toilet with flush! ( f 'ush currently broken)

  El Area of Uzbeki crushingsat Korki Butchek concert -340,000 dyings.

  i

  I

  KA3AXCKM«rOCyflAPCTBEHHblR UMPK

  • KAZAKH STATE CIRCUS

  One thing you must taking your family to see while you visiting is w ° rl d famous Kazakh State Circus . Among the many impressives acts you can see includes-

  LILY UTMARKAN

  Lily Utmarkan is of course the famous ex-Kazakh Olympics gymnast who

  now use her very bendy skills for perform in circus, under Soviets, she was force to perform degrading acts on parallels bars, but now she free to chasings her dream!

  Her most famous trick is where she put one foot in her ear, while placing other foot inside vagine. She is Kazakh record holder and has so far manage to insert foot to depth of 58.6 centimetre (This 23 US inches!) - Dut tnis vear is nc P e t0 achieve immersion of leg right up to kneecap! Will you be there to see when this historic event occurs!?

  GOGOL THE CLOWN

  Come marvel at Gogol - he is a GENUINE chocolate face - that is correct, his skin is not colour with makeup, his face natural

  chocolate colour! How many countries can say they have one of these people? Come and see him, look on him - allow your childrens to touch his hair - and learn that he nothing to be scare of, he normal person

  and should be treat with respect.

  THE DANCING BEARS OF TARASHENK

  These most joyfu I creatu res is not only very skill at dance with great vigour (this guarantee as their floor is heat to 100 degree Celsius), they is also most accomplish as actors. How you will laugh when you see Yorba . the big father bear, dress up as mighty US warlord George Walter Bush and then make a rape on a sheep, with vagines smear witn honey,

  dressed as Osamas Bin Laden. That will teaching naughty Osamas f o r his childish pranks!

  LAND OF THE STRANGE ONES'

  Look and laugh and tease at the little retards Childrens and their deformations - puzzle amongst yourselves how much of

  them is real - did the boy with three legs, no phenis and head size of apple grow those feathers himself, 0 r was they glued on him by the circus? And do not think you have seen them all before - each week new ones is brought in from the fertile

  retard producing regions that borders the Caspian Sea near to the Karushatek Nuclear Plant. What strange gypsy curse is on this

  region that produces so many deformation? It will never be known.

  N.B. If you like one of these 'strange ones' very much and want to take him home, you can buy one! Enjoy to haggle with circus for price - make sure they are throw in the cage! Buying one yourself can cost you more than you paid for the little monster himself!

  DOLTAN THE CHILD WRESTLER

  Behold the great strength and tenacities of this boy. Principals of circus ensures that Doltan have a great anger and ferocity towards grown men (we will not say their

  secret for this!) and he will fight whichever ones of them is brave enough to attack him...are you!? Any man who w restles him

  - totally nude - and is victorious, will

  receive 1.000.000 Teng e!

  LOCATION

  Kazakh State Circus is constant tour the whole country - check with Ministry of Tourism for current locate. It only fair to warn you, be prepare for disappointment during first weeks of June 2011, as English Duke of Edinburghs have booked Kazakh State Circus for his 90th birthday celebrations in United Kingdoms.

  ADMISSIONS RATES

  Adults and childrens over 5 - 2,000.000 Tenqe*. Children unders 5 is free (Please note - you should have them attached to you with rope, since there are many instances of children theft by circus).

  * NOT include in admissions price

  - Refreshments

  - Potatoes for throw on the strange ones

  - Touching hair of Gogol The Clown, receiving piggyback from Gogol The Clown, or placing fingers in mouth of Gogol The Clown (Prices do not includes refreshments, or potatoes for

  throw at the strange ones).

  33

  JlErKOMblCJIEHHblE 3PEJ1MU|HOCTM HOHHOrO BPEMEHM

  B KA3AXCTAH

  • FRIVOLOUS NIGHT-TIME ENTERTAINMENTS IN KAZAKHSTAN

  Thankings to industrial mechanizations, computer technologies and recent large capture of slaves from Uzbekistan, Kazakh workers now has more free times and money than ever and just like Western peoples, they likes to spend this spare Te n ges on funtime nightlifes.

  This mean that in evenings, there is a more option than ever before for frivolous

  activities category entertainments and showbiznizes. Why not!? Everyone like do and look on theses things- I will tellings you of them!!

  CATEGORY POPULAR MUSIC

  Current in Kazakhstan popular with peoples is category of music, 'popular music'-it very popular! Just like in West, all the young peoples is a glue to their village's radio to hear the new topten hit parade when it announce every 7th year.

  «^>«iesswssw«>ss*s«ws»? >«^%«wm«ss;ss;

  CURRENTTOPTEN OF THE POPULAR MUSIC SONGS IN KAZAKHSTAN ( CHART VALID UNTIL JAN 15TH 2012) IS:

  I 10. HOLIDAYS - MADONNAS

  I We liking very much this new song by singing transvestite Madonna. fj e ( s very convincing woman!

  9.1 AM WANNA SEX UP YOU - COLORS ME BADD

  l This favourite of my ]2-year-old son, Bilak. His wife and childrens enjoys it also.

  8. ROCKING ME AMADEUS - FALCO

  Me and my friend Azamat Bagatov like listen and discodancings to this.

  7. CANDLING THE WINDS - ELTON JOHN

  I very much liking this emotionals song about crushed Princess of Wales that fat bald homosexual > Elton John original write abou
t someone else.

  6. LEADER OF THE GANGS - GARRETH GLITTER

  l This one from convicted sex criminal Gareth Glitters. He very much admire in Kazakhstan and his ? music is also popular. Infact he second most popular sex criminal in Kazakhstan. Our most popular is I Urkin the Rapist who become big star after he appearing in my moviefilm!

  5. IT IS LIKE A KIND OF MAGIKS - QUEENS

  i I like very much the lead singer - ladies man Frederick Mercury. He very popular in my country, because me look like a Kazakh - this why we have competition to see who most resembling him (Chapter 4).

  4. MAC ARENA- MACARENAS

  We play this party song at my first wife funeral. People very enjoyed making the frivolous dancing. Happy times!

  3. IN MY COUNTRY THERE IS PROBLEM (THROW THE JEW DOWN THE WELL) -KORKI BUTCHER

  This is most popular children's song in Kazakhstan and was, of course, written by Korki Butchek. One I time I sing it for Kazakh television in cowboy bar in Arizona, which in US and A. I have hear this song I have upset some peoples -1 think it because my guitar playing not so good. I sorry.

  I 2. BING BANG - KORKI B UTCHEK

  This most enjoyable song from Kazakh legend Korki Butchek was before this hitparade, number one I in Kazakhstan for past 14 years!

  1. BEAT ITS-MICHAELS JACKSON

  I I a huge fanny of this new song by Dancing Cho col ate Face Michael Jacksons, which have going I straight into top ofchartings! After potassium, apples and pubis, fourth biggest export of Kazakhstan I is young boys to Michael's ranch. Why not? Is niiice, they like!

  HOHHblE KJiyBblKA3AXCTAH

  • NITECLUBS OF KAZAKHSTAN

  Thankyouformakeinformingmeon popularmusic Boraf.lhearing you say, butnext questions

  I think I is hearyou askings is,'Borat, where in Kazakhstanscan I listeningsto these nice songsof category popularmusic?'. WellplaceyoucangoforthisandalsoreceiveWesternsexual position