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  5. HORSE HOOF Can be slight chewy from an older horse.

  > ■

  6. HORSE FACE Delicious. The better looking the horse, the better it taste.

  7. HORSE EYE Very nice! Do not feed to babies under 1 week old - they can chokes.

  8. HORSE CHIN Can be tough - try to find from a horse which was punched in face regularly before it was slaughter.

  9- HORSE EAR Deep Fried in dogfat - very delicious, but a veryfattenings!

  10. HORSE knee Tasty for a stews -the white meat fixed to the bone in middle is mp^t tastiest

  11 . HORSE HAIRCUT Boil these hairs for 7 and half months to make a delicious soups

  12. HORSE MIDDLE This includes lungs, stomatche, bladder, spleen, colons and bileducts. It best to smash these all together by throw the horse into a ravine and

  then leave for three weeks before scraping up and having in sandwich.

  13. HORSE THROAT Most delicious if the horse have been force to drink only PepsiMax for 6 month prior to slaughter. This also make the best W mak from

  horse.

  14. HORSE NECK SKIN Rumour to have aphrodisiac property - it traditional for Kazakh grooms to use this on their wedding night to cover their wife's face.

  15. HORSE SPINE Can be tasty - not

  so good if the horse was used to ride before slaughter, as someone will have done shits on its back for many year, which affect the taste.

  16. WASTE This rest of the horse is disgusting and is fit only for dog, gypsy an( j woman.

  .

  After readings on these delicious Kazakh food s you is probably want to trying them for yourselves. Well you must! Here is a recipes for you to cookings at home!

  "Charazak" (Delicates braise black horse) Ingredient

  1 horse ^eal black, if not then brown. Grey is no good) 2 onions

  1 teaspoon of salt

  (feeds 300)

  Instruction

  Slaughter the horse dea d. Drain the blood. Keep horse in a warm shed for a week. Remove head (you will use this later as a garnish). Put head in a hole, so children do not eat it before you have finish the dish!

  R emove the hooves (y ou can later carve these into shoes for small childrens, or hollow them out for small cups, or hats. Horse hats are very popular gift for n © w borns childrens).

  Dig a bjajioie. Put stones in the bottom, t hen put wood and old tyre.

  Light fire to the wood. Let the fire go until small. Put in the horse (and a wife if she is nagging! This is my jokings).

  Put in the 2 onions. If it is not the season for onions, then put in anything that looking like onion, for examples, one of the hooves.

  Put barbwire around the pit, to prevent gyspy from stealing.

  COOk for P Hay *

  If fire still go, extinguishes it by make a urines into hole. Remove the horse. Garnish with dog and head of horse. Add salt and soup ketchups to taste.

  Serve .

  1. This Karyl Chjramchatbev - she like I

  a Kazakh Martha Stewarts. Recipe for Charazak and many others similar can be found I

  in her new book. , t called 'Horse: 100 Delicious Recipe

  YURNAK

  •KAZAKH WINE

  In addition to eat foods, Kazakh peoples also drinks liquids. Most popular is delicious wine that have name 'Yurnak' - it exact same as western wine, except instead of make from ferment grape, it made from ferment horse urine. Ingredients is strictly controlled by government decree; yurnak can only ever contain horse urines, yeast and sugar - dilution with water or urine of other animal or human is most serious offence.

  The very best Yurnak is make from

  male horse who produce urine not

  because he need to, but because he is

  scared. Traditional way of achieve this is to

  punch another horse in front of him.

  1. This Yurnak from 1996 - very good year (also my first wife die this year - high five!)

  In modern Kazkhstaru there is now many different type of Yumak - each with a slight different taste - for examples, there is Yurnak make from blend of 90% male workhorse

  and ?n% pre gnant female horse t hat have slightly fruit taste with hintings of chocolate and toast and there is an extra strong ferment horse urine that is made from urine from a horse that has only ever drink ferment horse urine. My personal favourites yurnak is make from urine of horse that is force to drink only PepsiMax - it nice, vou mLJ st trying!

  Please note that in Kazakhstan, womens is NOT allowed to drink wine - we say that 'to give a woman wine is like to give caviar to a pig'. The only time it legal to give a womans alcohol is if you need make her sleepy anf j forgetfuls in order gain entry to her vagine.

  •PEPSIMAX

  In unlikely eventings you do not like drink yurnak, do not worry, Kazakhstan is proud to be home to Central Asia's only manufacturing plant of delicious western drink PepsiMax.*

  * PepsiMax plant is locate in Pavlodar Province . North West of Aral Sea and DID NOT poison the lake, kill those childrens and make deform the local babies.

  m

  2. since openings of PepsiMax plant, level of Aral Sea have drop slightly.

  • KAZAKHBOORGER RESTAURANT

  If you is a real fussypants and none of these Kazakh foods and drink is appeal for you, then do not worry - Kazakhstan now has a fastsfoods restaurant!*

  • KAZA K H B OORG ER INFOR MATIONS Location

  104 Pepsi Max Boulevard

  Almaty

  Kazakhstan 14

  Dress Code

  Suit and tie must be worn - no exception

  Reservations

  There current 6 month waiting list - please apply in writing to be add. J ew need not bother .

  * During my visitings to US and A, I procure genuine Hamboorger of MicDonalds for Premier

  Nazarbamshev. You must be sure to see it [ n National Museum of Kazakhstan in Almaty - be quick, Premier Nazarbamshev is plan to eat it on 25th Anniversary of Kazakh Independence in year 2014.

  Kazakhboorger is drive-thru! Here my friend Doltan Tokbanyev is return home with delicious Happytime Pig Meal

  57

  ■FZ

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  MSBABHTEJlb

  •GREAT STATUE MELVIN THE REDEEMER

  If you are in Kazakhstan and wish to find capital city Astana, but do not

  know direction in which your womens should pull your cart, then - as long as you within 817 kilometre - a ll you need do is look upwards and you will see Kazakhstan's greatests ever achievement of engineerings =JThe Great Statue Melvin The Redeemer"- and this is where Astana is. Construct 2 year past to recognise Melvin Gibson's fight against jew persecution in US and A (and also commemorate release of special 25th Anniversary box-set DVD of moviefilm MADMAX 2: ROAD WARRIORS ), this awe inspirings sight is essential visitings for any trip to Kazakhstan. Melvin Gibsons is hero to my peoples ever since his statement that the jews caused all wars. Dr. Yamak, our Government Scientist also has found proof that it was the j ews who cause the tsumani of Asia in 2004 and were responsible for the end of the dinosa urs.

  Some fact on Great Statue Melvin The Redeemer. . ,

  * Statue is 712.6 feet tall - it made exact this height so that if it fall backwards, Astana jewtown will be crush by Melvin's anoos.

  * Most of stone came from Uzbekistan - Kazakh workers went over there and smashed up over 500 of their temples for it.

  * There is plan to construct similar statue in Almaty that will be 1,000 feet tall and will be depict Melvin in his Bravehearts costume. Statue will be exact to scale and beneath skirt, Melvin will be minoos panties, I •

  meaning he will have most mighty testes and chram in world.

  * Kazakhstan also has National Melvin Gibson Day (August 12) where S| crowds gathers to watch What Womens Want' and eat sugertits.

  Great Statue Melvin The Redeemer informations...

  LOCATION Why you ask this!? It huge - just look up to the sky!

  ADMISSIO
N For 5,000 Tenge you can climb the stairs inside Melvin right up to his head and shout and spit from his mouth in direction Of 1 .^* Jewtown. All proceeds goes to Kazakh Museum of Intolerance.

  3A5ABHblfl CEMEflHblfl KYP0PT MM PA ASTANA

  • ASTANA FUNWORLD FAMILY RESORT

  Kazakh industry touristic and leisure have now come firm into 20th century with recent open of Astana Funworld Family Resort. This magnificents purpose built facility is locate on Kazakh Caspian Sea Riviera, in heart of the Nuclear Retardation Zone (it not actual near Astana - but idea for it was made by gangster Frankie Biletbayev, who have been to capitalcity Astana many many time). It joint venture between Ministry of Tourism and Viktor Hotelier Capitalist Enterprises (Viktor is good friend of mine ladies!) and Contain everything need to make perfect holiday for all the family. For husbands, there is ping-pong table, an unlimited buffet of daily-clean Turkmenistan! prostitutes (they tightest in all Central Asia!)and a book in receptions area with photographs of motorcars.

  Childrens has also many nice thing to do at Astana Funworld. There is secure enclosure where they can hunt squirrel, panda and gypsy and if that not their flavour, they will surelys love Astana Funworld themespark - it have rollercoaster that last year set world record for highest vertical drop! This occur when the carriage fell off top and land on gypSy camp - great success! As well as rollercoaster, Astana Funworld themespark also have the world's fastest carousel*, which was made byconversion of centrifuge leave behind from Soviet Space Program.

  Wives is not forgot either - for them there is luxury cages paint in fun colours, containing a delicious apple for eat, a handweave pubis rug for comfort and for keep their mind amuse, a ball of rubber that make a Squeak when it squeeze.

  * This carousels DID NOT spin off and smash those four schoolchildrens - do not believe lies in Jew media. Ride current is close for some adjustments.

  The Beach

  When all this activities becomes too much for you, why not make relax at Seaside. Locate on Kazakh Caspian Sea Riviera, Astana Funworld is just minutes from some of the nation's most beautiful beaches, which are sandy, clean and almost totally free of landmines. The sea here also very nice for Swimmings and is guarantee to be free of shark, jeiiysfish and all other marines life.

  Nightlife

  The fun do not stop when the sun have disappear - leave your wives in their cages and your childrens watching pornos on resort's very own 14" television set (with remote control), while you make discodance to one the many premier artists from world of popular musics who is appear at Astana Funworld. This year schedule to perform at Astana Funworld is Korki Butchek, pop superstars RightSaid Fred and convicted English sex-criminal Gareth Glitter. Viktor Hotelier have also book Melvin Gibsons to appear to do re-enacting of his lines from moviefilm 'What The Womens Wants' - he will say his words, the audience will answer the other characters. Funtime!

  Gettings There

  Astana Funworld have excellent transport link with rest of Kazakhstan - it even have its own railway

  line! This good fortune is because it situate on site of the old Kratna-kov Nuclear Reactor (which explode in 2004) and much uraniums was use to be take there.

  Rates and Reservations

  For bookings and rate please telephone Viktor Hotelier Capitalist Enterprises on

  Aimaty2l6andaskfor Viktor Hotelier - rates is negotiable, depend on whetherTenge, or

  US dollars. There is discount 8% if you permit your wife to be use by other guest.

  Other essential destinations touristic of Kazakhstan is include Mighty Nurek Dam, Tinshein Swimmings Pool and Hooeylewis Stadium.

  1. Astana Fun World

  CyiHECTBEHHblE TYPMCTCKME MECTA KA3AXCTAHA

  • ESSENTIALS DESTINATIONS TOURISTIC OF KAZAKHSTAN

  At tops of your listings for visit must be our magnificents new capitalcity, Astana . Old capitalcity of Kazakhstan was Almaty, locate in far Southeast corner, but in 1997, Astana

  - 1,400 kilometre away in Northeast - was create new capitalcity. This because it more central and symbolize new start for country, but mainly because it locate convenient close to where Premier Nazarbamshev's mother lives and every weekend he like to visiting her to drink hotsoup and have his hairs comb. Astana (which translate means, 'capitalcity'), is home of Kazakh democracy and it here where our Parliament meets every 15 year and that Premier

  Nazarbamshev have 117 of his 428 Presidential Palaces. But this just top of the icebergs

  - there many many other nice thing for experience. Please continue look and readings for indications.

  • ASTANA ZOO

  Astana, like most modern city, have a most excellent zoo. But unlike most other cities, where it is rumour that the animals is treated cruelly - at Astana Zoo, we guarantees it. Have you ever be made angry because a monkey in safari park have damage your car or

  throw his shits on you? Well, get your revenges here by throwing your shits back at

  the animals or, if you like, punching them in the face. For small extra fee you can even

  hire a guns and shoot them. Astana Zoo not just about kill animals though - there also very

  actives program of breedings, where each afternoons at 3pm Kazakh zoologists tries and

  makes various of the animals do a matings. My favourite was when I witness a polar bear rape a dog! After this at 4.30 pm there is daily fighting contest to see which is the bravest animal - at time of writing this, it is Oskar the Tiger, who had just defeat Sindi the Sheep. Bye bye Sindi! At end of your visit, for souvenir, why not go to the excellents gifts shop, where you can make purchase hats, candies, or an y of tne creatures you have see on your visit.

  Astana Zoo informations

  Locate: 24Avenue of the Rapists, Astana 12, Kazakhstan

  Admissions Adult: 8,000,000 Tenge, Childrens:

  5,000,000 Tenge ( this will be refund if th ey is accidenta l eat by animal )

  Gettings There

  Astana Zoo can be reach by Number 2 Bus (which stoppings there every two week), or alternate you can use taxi service Premier Nazarbamshev offer with his Toyota Corolla (alloy wheels and sliding sunroof). He will pick you up any time 24 hrs a day (surcharge of 1 US Dollar per mile after midnight), but once he arrive, you must drive and he sit in the back since he Head Of State and it would not be dignify f or him that he drive you. For this service telephone Astana 9999.

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  X t^. k , X Great Statue ^x I elephone of Metvin the Redeemer

  § %• L> Telephone of Melvin the Redeemer

  < V% 43 * Kazakhstan _jL~ x x /

  * * % %. n^* x nY*>x >

  • KAZAKH MUSEUM OF INTOLERANCE

  This a living, working museum which chartings over 1000 glorious years of Kazakh prejudice, bigotrys and aggressions - from time in year A.D. 905 that Ukhtar The Hawk create Uzbekistan by do a dirt from his anoos, right up to last year's Runnin 9 of the Jew festival. Astana Museum Of Intolerance is perfect place to bring your childrens - it interactive and they can actual throw rocks at a gypsy, 0 r kick a jew. Also, as part of living history philosophic, each day 60 actors dressed as Kazakh soldiers massacres 300 Uzbeks. But ; not just a museum that celebrate the past - jt also looking forward and current has a special exhibition 0 n Kazakh plans to next year bombard Uzbek cities with rot sheeps fired from our siege catapults

  VIKTOR HOTELIERS SHOPCITY

  • Almaty is home to Kazakhstan's first wftstern-stvle Capitalist Supermall - Viktor Hotelier's Shopcity. Construct 3 year ago, this stating the art goods and serv.ces purchas.ng

  facilitv contains four stores, built on two separate levels which is connect by central Asias firstlelectrteSScale (which did NOT swallow and grind those schoolgirls). Viktor Hotelier's Shopcity is perfect place to spend your US dollar on Kazakh souvenir for love one back home. Here is some items you MUST make purchasings of...you MUST!

  • Gypsy Tears - Viktor Hotelier Shopcity only sells 100% Central Asian Gypsy Tears. Beware of cheaper source where tea
rs may be up to 40% Uzbek - who as everyone knows

  is much easier to make cry.

  • Fun Novelty Goods - Example, 5-foot Eunuchs, jew lips 0 r chicken face to rub on your skin for good luck!

  • Gypsy Boys - Great value from Viktor Hotelier - cheaper to buy here away from the tourist attractions. Also, all boys are guarantee to be fully train in carrying vour bags, combing your hairs and cleaning your anoos and not to have, how you say 'attitude' that some has.

  In addition luxury goods like theses above, in Viktor Hotelier's Shopcity, you can also make purchase of everyday items, such as wives, potato, potassium,plov,polonium,pornography

  and pubis for clean pots and pans. Also, just arrive is new format of VHS videocassette tapes. Current moviefilms in stock is The Accused' which a delightful sex-comedy and 'ET The Extras Terrestrial', which story of a child with nuclear retardation who live in cupboard.

  $SS^Sii

  For provide you incentive for make shoppings at Viktor Hotelier's Shopcity and therefore increase financial turnovers and consequent profits of my friend Viktor's Capitalist enterprise, I have please to make include here some coupons which can be cut 0LJ t and redeem against relevant goods and services in Viktor Hotelier's Shopcity.

  BOCXHTHTEJlbHblE BBJIOKH

  1. Make purchase one delicious apples - receive strong gypsy boy for free!

  "1

  OJ fir A LjbirAHCKHXCJlE3

  2.40% off price Jar of Gypsy Tears

  Coupon only valids with purchase of whole - purchase of I I part apple or stalk not accept. Consumer is responsible for . I train boy in carry things, handparty

  Uain^yjn^rr^in^handp.^nd^c^ean_ ^[^ja't^^^^^ffl^a?]

  'TjffaVM* OfiEXflA J" 3 AnAtiHfi EBPEfi 1

  3. Buy any item pubis knitwear-have your j | 4. Free jewtrap with any purchase over wife pussy shave complimentary. 15 000 000 Tenge