Borat Read online

  • DISNEYSLAND

  In Kazakhstan, if you want to see a grown man inside the

  body of an animal, you go to Astana Zoo. In US and A, you

  go to village m California called

  Disneysland, which is home of the creatures Dougal Duck,

  Mickey The Moose and

  asshole dog, Goofy.

  There is many fun to be had at

  this themes park, which is split

  into separate lands - includings

  Tomorrowsland and

  Fantasyland. Tomorrowsland

  gives a glimpsing into the

  world of the future, where

  people have miniature clocks

  that they wear on their arms! But

  my favourite is Fantasyland,

  which although it have no

  connection to the sexclub in

  Almaty with the same name, if

  you go on the nde, 'Pinnochio's

  Daring Journey' , there is a pari

  where the lights go out just

  long enough to make

  hand-relief.

  At Disneysland, you must take your own potatoes if you wish to throw them at these childrens with nuclear retardation.

  • SAMS GASOLINES STATION, LOGANSVILLE, GEORGIA

  On my travelings across US and A for make my moviefilm, I stop at a gas station place name Loganvilles Georgia and discover by chance one of America's greatest touristic attractions - and it not even in any guidmgs books. It happen when after placing gasolines in my motorcar, I go to lavolatory at back of station for make a urines. As I doing this I notice there is a hole in the wall exact circumference of my chram (can of pepsi) - so l place him m the hole and what happen next is incredible - I feel a strong mouth around him! I think it mouth of man because the moustache I feel ticklings was too thick to be a woman's. Very soon I make liquid explosion and I return to motorcar to fetch my friend Azamat Bagatov. We return to the hole, but the magik have finish and there is nothing. Perhaps when you go to try this hole in Logansville, it will have return!

  • LAS VEGAS

  The city of Las Vegas in Nevadas is very good indicate of power of US and

  A under fist of current regime. Mighty Warlord George Walter Bush have

  not only succeed in crush Iraq, he have also manage to conquer and steal the cities of London, Pans and

  Venices which he have moved to this desert location.

  There is many activities for enjoy in this Las Vegas, includmgs bingo, prostitute, discodance, prostitute, striptease and prostitute.

  If Gansgter Frankie Sinatra is not your flavour, why not instead watch a live show by flamboyant homosexual, Liberace?

  US and A have steal Eyefel Tower and place it in Las Vegas. Do not try to steal Nurek Dam. You will be sorry!

  • DOLLYSWOOD

  This place in Tennessees is the home of most beautiful woman - Dolly Partons. Wawaweewa! They like two shaved goat's

  bladders! I am include this place on list of destination for Kazakhs to visit by instruction of Premier Nazarbamshev, who is offer a

  reward of 20 billion Tenge to any man who can capture this Dolly Partons and bring

  her back to Kazakhstan, where he wish to make her dance at next State Openings of Parliament.

  Dolly Partons

  • RAPIDS ON THE RESEVOIR PUBLIC WASHROOMS

  After 12 days into my journey to US and A without having opportunity to clean my body, I was very please to find this public washroom which is locate in Brandon, Mississpissi. It

  really is most impressive and in terms of solid human waste I see in the water. I would estimate it have a filtration system that remove perhaps up to 75%.

  I was please to find location for both release dirty and also spy on some ladies minoos clothing

  64

  IS AND 9

  After making release of dirty, there is most ingenious construction for cleaning of anoos

  After clean my anoos, l next clean my body 65

  In Kazakhstan the only time two men travel together on a vehicle it is for journey to edge of forest to make bang bang bang in anoos. In US and A it happen for funtime! Here I am on motorcycle with fat actor Marlon Brando

  JAGSHEMASH READER!

  • Subsequents to worldwide successes of his blockbusterings moviefilm, B orat Sagdiyev - televiski journalist and 4th most famous person of Kazakhstan - have in associate with Ministry of Information produce this travel guidings journal to minor nation of US and A. This book a most sensible acquisition if you are think of travel to this country and will instruct you on all you needing know - from how to get caqe of your wife through airport, to how to gain entry to an American vagine without spend

  money.

  It also contain most explicit guidings to

  American peoples - did you know that

  there are over 1,000 of them with chocolate

  colour skin? And that it natural, not makeups!?

  Learn too of the great American cities -

  Washingtons DC, New York and Londons

  - and read truthful accounts of their landmarks:

  for examples, discover that in realitys, the

  World Trade Centers of New York City is not near so tall as they saying it is.

  Containings many many photographs

  never before looked upon and writings of most splendid caliber, this book really is a very nice!

  AUTHOR NOTE

  Borat Sagdiyev h ave had hair on pubis for 35 harvest, he have correct number of limbs and chram thick like can of Pepsi. Borat is current marry to his third wife. First two is dea d. He did not kill the m.